祝我生日快乐

It is not my birthday today nor anyone's.
You must have know this song, it's not hard not to hear this song before.
Still a very heart wrenching song.

I have no idea why standing up is so difficult now.
Maybe there is some things I don't understand yet. Maybe there will always be things I don't.
I only know that there is a bot of spilled ink inside. I tried cleaning it, tried ignoring it but the stain still bothers me.

I guess time will make me swallow the fact.
I think time will make people accept things easier.
I know time is the essence.

I was very tired last night. Thanks to the late night sleep and the coughing spell. That resulted in a very tired Mich and then a upset Jason.
I slept till 2pm plus today and I wouldn't have woke up if daddy hasn't wake me up.
I have not sleep till this late for some time.
I remembered I woke up thinking how scary it is to realise that I will be wake up old one day and I will die eventually.
Who knows what's there after?

I realised over and over again that my time is not immortalised. We can only look at the younger and sigh with envy cos' we have not found/done something meaningful yet.

To be honest, I am scare.
What if I carry on my life like this? I am not complaining about my life but there is something not fulfilled.
Would the hole be filled?

I hate this distasteful feel.
I very much disliked this kinda being 'forgotten' and 'forsaken' relationship over and over again.
It doesnt matter how close we were yesterday cos' there is always this possibility that we will only end up smiling like some forgotten strangers tomorrow.
You people who had done this to me never realised how much I care. I cared so much that I learned not to care anymore, telling myself this is life. Part and parcel, it's ok!
Were we really smiling for each other yesterday? What happened to all the "promises"?Aren't they worth anything?

I'm wrong again?

还有时间才能平衡
热恋伤痕幻灭重生

Sorry about it then.